America's Adventures in Annoying People
by rsh13
Summary: America finds a list of ways to annoy people online and decides to test them out for himself. Set of oneshots.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's note:  
><strong>All of the ways that America annoys people will be from bored(dot)com/getannoyed unless stated otherwise.

* * *

><p>America had been surfing the Web when he came across a list of ways to annoy people.<p>

Perfect! Annoying people is _always _fun, right? He could annoy unsuspecting civilians and even the other nations! Oh yeah, this was going to be so _fun_!

He made a mental note to make England one of the first victims—England would _have_to be a victim eventually; sooner was better than later, of course. He just had to find one that he could pull off on the Englishman.

He looked through the different lists and decided which ones that he would try first. He bookmarked some of his favorite pages on his cell phone.

He could not wait to test these tasks out. He was going to have a blast annoying people!


	2. One: Cable Snapping Noise

_Ask, "Did you hear that cable snapping sound?"_

It was the day of a world meeting.

America happened to catch the elevator at the same time Italy had. The American couldn't help but wonder why Italy was alone; Germany was always "babysitting" the Italian, so it was strange that the northern half of Italy was alone.

All well, this would be a better chance to test out the ways to annoy people!

America pulled out his cell phone where he had bookmarked one of the pages: _Annoying People in an Elevator_

He scrolled the page up and turned to Italy. The American placed a faux expression of worry on his face, "Hey, Italy, did you hear that cable-snapping sound? I think I heard something like that."

Italy face extorted an expression of complete horror. He jumped into the American's arms, screaming, "**WE'RE GOING TO DIE! **_**GERMANY**_**! COME SAVE US!**"

America couldn't help but laugh. Italy had fallen victim of his first scheme of annoyance.

This was only the beginning…


	3. Two: What gender is England?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's note:  
><strong>Wow, I've actually been busy for the last few days! (It should have been up though since I only had to proofread.) And when I wasn't busy, I was wasting my spare time playing video games on my Nintendo 64 (You know, that _really_ old system from the 90s, yeah, that one.). But, I got new clothes for school, so it's worth it! I still need to order my backpack, a lanyard, and get my school supplies though...and more clothes. Okay, okay, go on and read it already.

* * *

><p><em>Ask people what gender they are.<em>

America was situated next to England during the world meeting when he decided to try out another way to annoy people.

"Hey England!" America attempted to whisper, but it came out more as a scream, "_Psst_! England!"

England snapped his head around to face the American, "What is it, bloody git?"

"England, what gender are you?"

"W-what?"

England didn't if he should be shocked, horrified, or…annoyed.

"Are you a boy or a girl? I mean, sometimes, I fantasize about you in a miniskirt—you would look dead sexy in one, by the way—but girls are supposed to wear skirts, so I was wondering if you were a man or a woman?"

_'Damn!'_ America thought, _'I'm so good at this! I made this all up on the spot…except for the miniskirt part, but I already knew I fantasized about that."_

The next thing that America registered being done was steaming, hot tea being poured on him and that he was being strangled by an angry Englishman, "You bloody wanker!"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>  
>This drabbleoneshot is somewhat inspired by a video on YouTube where America's voice actor says England looks dead sexy in a miniskirt; and being a fangirl of USUK, I had to take advantage of this.


	4. Three: Drumming

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's note:  
><strong>I can't remember when I wrote this, but I remember it was shortly after the shooting in Norway, so that's what Norway's talking about when he says something about security.

* * *

><p><em>Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.<br>_

America casually drummed his fingers rather loudly against the table. Someone else was blabbing on about something and the American honestly didn't care.

"That's why security really needs to be upped. Another tragedy like this doesn't need to happen."

Norway stood at the podium placed in the front of the room; his papers were situated on the wooden surface. The Norwegian continued on with his speech, drumming still continuing on.

"Will you stop it, America?" Norway suddenly yelled.

America looked at the other man, confusion on his face, "What do you mean, Nor?"

"Stop drumming your fingers before I come over there and rip them off."

"I still don't know what you're talking about."

Yet, through this all, America was _still_drumming his fingers.

Norway suddenly jolted forward and went after the obnoxious American. It took both Denmark and Sweden to pull the Norwegian off—talk about a Romano moment!

Even when he was about to be attacked, America had still drummed his fingers.


	5. Four: Hole Reinforcing Circles

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's note:  
><strong>I'm starting to think that I may have already proofread these things because I haven't had to change anything- or maybe I'm just tired, but who knows.

* * *

><p><em>Put those hole reinforcing circles on the center of your eyeglasses. Now go to that executive meeting.<em>

America rustled through his briefcase to find the little page of sticker-like objects.

"What are you doing?" England asked skeptically as the American was still searching through his bag.

"Sh! It's important business I'm doing!"

America didn't even look up and continued to search. Suddenly, he stood up, screaming, "Found it!"

The meeting was put to an abrupt stop; everyone was now staring at the blond.

"Go on," America smiled stupidly.

The rest of the nations went back to what they were previously speaking of.

America placed the sheet of wax paper on the table, peeling two of the hole-reinforcing stickers off, keeping them on the tips of his left index and middle fingers. He pulled his glasses from the bridge of his nose and sat them on the table. He stuck the white circles onto the middle of each glass frame. He then placed his glasses back in their rightful place.

He smiled, waiting for someone to notice. Unfortunately for poor Al, no one noticed. This attack of annoyance had gone _unnoticed_.


End file.
